Emperor Suzaku's ascent to godhood by way of bedpan
by Datstank
Summary: A bedpan changes Suzaku's life, causing him to become god. This story is the most messed up thing, don't read it unless you have nerves of steel.


"Welcome loyal subjects, to our grand party!"

Emperor Suzaku waves about in the showy manner he had picked up from Lelouch.

Every guest he had invited had showed, and every one of them in the specified garb...Rather, the specified lack of garb.

Suzaku himself was wearing nothing but a loincloth: most guests had on simple undergarments, as had been requested of them.

Nunnally looked especially ravishing, with her skimpy top and panties, as well as her lovely, beautiful... Bedpan.

Suzaku hadn't realized that he had a bedpan fetish. But looking at Nunnally in her wheelchair, with that tray poking out...He must have died and gone to heaven.

Later, after he had managed to slip Nunnally a few glasses of champagne, Nunnally, well, she had nature call, and was too drunk to notice.

Suzaku had been sitting in her lap, and when she had her accident, Suzaku's mind blew, and he passed out.

Later, Lloyd diagnosed him with sever blueballitis, and prescribed him three hours of porn a day.

Unfortunately for his staff, Suzaku decided that meeting were the best time to take his therapy, scarring many foreign dignitaries for life. They had been willing to accept the Japanese Emperor. They'd been willing to overlook his frivolous manner, and eccentric habits. Lord, they'd even overlooked the half naked parties. But having an emperor look at porn during international peace talks?

This would not tried to impeach Suzaku, but when they informed him of that fact, he had ripped off his loincloth (Much to Lady Kaguya's chagrin, as she was heading the impeachment effort) and strutted right out.

He had then called upon the black knights to aid him, and kidnapped Nunnally with their help. They founded a nation where Italy used to be, where wearing clothes was punishable by death. Nunnally became Suzaku's mistress, held in his personal chambers, forced to do... Things... before she was allowed to eat.

The prisoners that Suzaku took ended up in his throne room, tied up so that Suzaku could have his way with any of them, at any time, in any way. It wasn't uncommon to see a pretty girl, one you had seen on the news, perhaps? dead on the floor, having choked on a massive dump Suzaku had decided to take that morning.

Kallen had been tied to Suzaku's throne, and he sat on her every day, sometimes screwing her if he was bored. She had been pregnant, what, ten times now? And each time, Suzaku had continued sitting on her, causing her to have a miscarriage each time. The most disturbing this about it was that every time her body had finally passed the lifeless form, Suzaku would eat it. Right in front of her. Sometimes, he fed her some of her own miscarriage.

Suzaku gradually started taking over world, one country at a time, until he ruled the entire planet. At which point, he decreed that all girls, aged 6 to 36, were to be locked up inside large barns, where guys could go to breed. Once a woman stopped being beautiful, or if they hit 36, they would be culled for meat.

Under Suzaku's rule, women had been reduced to cattle.

There was only one who remained free, one with green hair. One who couldn't be killed.

At least, she remained free for thirty years.

When she was caught, she was used for some of the best sex ever. You could literally kill her by slitting her throat with a knife, screw the wound, and she would be back a few minutes later so you could do it all over again.

Suzaku eventually grew old, and the women rebelled. They had had enough! Overnight, the women had broken down doors, crafted iron bars into spears, and started killing any men they could find.

Suzaku, of course, had a backup plan. He rocketed to the moon with his slave girls, and used a special Flejya satellite to bombard the planet below until no life was left. Thus, Suzaku became the new god of mankind, as the only male until he finally had a son. Wo in turn, became just as bad as his father, and this cycle repeats for generations, with only one male, and hordes of females to do his bidding.

Eventually, so many birth defects from inbreeding cropped up that nobody could maintain the moon palace, so Suzaku the 36th created a book, where he was god, the only god. He sent down two people, the last ones that looked normal from the outside.

He called them Adam and also said some bull about not eating from a certain tree, and then he later, a cult had formed around him, knowing him only as god, and they called themselves Jews.

One day, a little Jew boy managed to get to the moon through sheer willpower, and discovered this little secret.

When he came back, he told people he was god's son, and called himself Jesus.

Another two thousand years pass, and I sit here writing this chronicle. I too have visited the moon in The same manner as Jesus.

I am his new disciple, ready to bring back the order Emperor Suzaku had before his people betrayed him.

Are you with me?


End file.
